3-26-10 To Curse or Not to Curse

There is a bit of controversy here in the Midwest. Yea, I know, what could be controversial in the middle of the US, right? If you have been following the men’s NCAA basketball extravaganza, you will know that K-State is one of the teams that have advanced to the final 8. Of course, one controversy is that KU didn’t make it in the tourney --- but I’m not here to talk about that one today. The controversy I’m talking about centers around K-State coach Frank Martin. And the controversy is his cursing.

There has been a fair amount of coverage here relative to how much he curses during a game…. At his players, at the refs, at the fans, etc. In fact, one fan had made the trek to OKC to watch K-State in action…. And left at the half because he didn’t want to expose his family to the cursing anymore. Of course, it is hard for me to imagine anyone as bad as the infamous Bobby Knight, but apparently this guy really gets to some of the folks around here. His players, on the other hand, don’t seem to be phased by his choice of words. Heck, you even see news reports of them parodying his antics.

You are thinking, yea, so what -- I don’t watch basketball and I don’t care about K-State -- why the heck are you even bringing this up, Dr. J???

Well, here’s why. As an executive, how you speak IS important. It is one of the critical skills in the Executive Skills and Traits model that I discussed some time back (12-30-09 Morphing to a Model and 1-4-10 Let's Talk).

As an executive, is it ever okay to curse? Surprisingly, I think the answer is yes. Here are a few of my observations/experiences.

I noticed that when I was a factory executive, I tended to use more swear words in my everyday conversation. Frankly, I didn’t realize I was doing it until later. But upon reflection, I realize that I was echoing the language around me. When I was a staff executive, I tended to use swear words sparingly. Again, echoing the language around me. So one observation is that the use of swearing is situational. It depends on those around you, and of course, on your personality as well.

Another experience concerns one of my bosses in the past. This guy was truly a gentleman. He didn’t arm wave, he didn’t scream, he didn’t belittle people, and he didn’t swear. Most days. But when he did, it got everyone’s attention. Because it was so out of character for him, we all knew that something was very wrong or he was very upset when one small swear word would slip into his conversation. So another observation is that the judicious use of cursing can have an impact. In this executive’s case, it made everyone sit up and take notice. Once he had their attention and made them realize the criticality of the issue, he was able to lead the group to the solution required.

One final observation. Some words are NEVER okay. I’m not going to iterate them here because I try very hard not to use them, ever. But you know damn well what I’m talking about. (Get the point?) And it is NEVER okay to direct your cursing at a specific person. Abusiveness is not a hallmark that you want to be known for.

So as an executive, do you HAVE to use swear words? Nope, you just must do what is comfortable for you.

Cheers!